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A sincere thank you
The entire family of Milli O’Nair would like to say from
the depths of their shattered hearts, a sincere thank you
to everyone who offered or gave help and love to us
during a time of unspeak- able grief. There are so many
Some however require a special mention.
We cannot express our thanks and gratitude enough
to Michael Currie and Nici Paitson from Michael Currie
Funerals for the caring, compassionate and dignified way
they treated Milli and us. They did it our way and nothing
was a problem.
Our Celebrant on the day, Judy Arpana, who had
to work under such difficult conditions, holding
back her own tears. You are a jewel JudyLa and we
Zenith, thanks for the best idea ever for Sunday
night. It worked.
Varney Magill, meals on wheels, you provided
nourishment to our hearts and bodies. Gerhard and
Phil for the slide show and Milli’s website presenta-
tion, just brilliant.
Mark the music and PA man. Sharon the wonder
Haydie, who did so well to speak so clearly about
Milli, her lifelong friend. Also for cooking our dinner.
Dear friends and Anni and Roz who flew in on a
moment’s notice to care for us, share with us, hold us
up and generally run the house.
Dave for the wood all neatly stacked. Who
wouldn’t obey Navaya, darling. Dorset for the beauti-
Sally Packshaw for the wonderful marquee and all
her love and help.
Sharelle and Elloise for such delicious cakes and
food during the week and especially on Monday. We
did get some.
The folks from Gondwana, Bouda, Wendy, Peachy
and everyone who came to decorate the hall, create
the shrine, meditate in Milli’s room and handle the
media. You showed great love and respect.
Whoever painted the bridge? We think it is fan-
tastic. We only hope you didn’t put yourselves in too
much danger to do it.
All the men and women from Main Arm and Kohinur
who set up, miraculously cleaned up, organised park-
ing and lit fires, What wonderful spontaneous friends you
Thanks to Mark for the soothing herbs. They were
just what the doctor ordered.
We can’t forget our petal collectors. If we were a flower
in Main Arm last week we would have been very afraid.
Thank you everyone for all the flowers and cards, just
exquisite. Any further donations could go to the Fred
Hollows Foundation, as there is an account under Milli
O’Nair set up by Tina and Viggo, in memory of Milli’s
big blue eyes.
Thanks to Donny McCormack who offered to
video the celebration and leave us, and you, with a
Also we can’t forget Lisa Fairy. The box you made
for Milli is exquisite. It oozes love. You may be happy
to know it is now the holder of many memories of
Milli’s celebration and we will keep it very safe.
We must not forget our enterprising, entrepreneurial kids,
Tess and Oscar, who without our knowledge, raised
$308.30 in donations for Milli and gave away toys to
other kids. We love you all.
Please forgive us if we have forgotten you. It is not
intentional we assure you.
We have received so much love and support
from every direction during this time. Our hearts are
touched deeply, it helps us to get out of bed and
face a new day.
All of you who came to Milli’s celebration knew
Milli in personal ways and you all loved her. You were
her friends. Please don’t walk by us in the street even
if we don’t know you. Say hello.
One last thing. If Milli’s life work was to connect
people, she sure did a grand job on Monday 18th.
The work she did and loved with passion was creat-
ing change, reconnecting, relationships and com-
munities. We would love to see her work continued
by those she worked with and those she helped to
heal, to play and to laugh.
– Tara and Peter Leishman and Family.
The Byron Shire Echo June 2, 2009 p15
Missing you loving you and speaking to you constantly
Crying smiling as I remember your smiles and your tears.
For those of you who weren’t at the ceremony last monday, i am pasting in the speech I gave.
hugs and love to you all
I feel so grateful for knowing you. I totally acknowledge your gifts of brilliance, warmth, dedication to clarity, integrity and honesty. You have so lovingly and capably met my needs for connection, love, learning, growth and understanding.
Milli and I met about 6 years ago while working on establishing a community on the land with the Sustainability Research Institute. A vibrant young woman with a passionate desire for community, we connected and resonated on many levels.
Milli had a vision for a land based community which was based on the principles of Non Violent Communication (NVC). She wrote “I dream of a community on the land in North New South Wales or
South East Queensland. A place to be, to create and share our wisdom and love for each other and our planet. There is a centre where people come to learn and then go back into the world to contribute to world peace. This community is based on Nonviolent principles from Gandhi to Marshall, these skills are the bases we work from and are the glue which supports our awakening and movement towards Peace.”
Only the day before she died, at the Gondwana working bee, she said to me, “Come on Wendy let’s do it, let’s buy that land in this area and establish that community.”
NVC was Milli’s passion. I believe she felt thrilled to find it. It met a deep need for connection, expression, understanding and receiving the other.
She learned NVC first from Dorset and then assisted him at 17 (I think he said) trainings. She was the focus person for a practice group for 3 years and then gradually moved into running her own trainings.
She started by running small Foundation Trainings in the area, and then branched out. Tasmania, Melbourne, the Sunshine Coast. She became a certified NVC trainer…yoohooo a real celebration!
After Foundation trainings came advanced trainings such as The Art Of Conscious Relating and then specialities such as Getting Real in Intimate Relationships. Milli was invited to work in NVC with individuals, couples and groups all over Australia. I know of some of the organisations, the list is not complete. The Brisbane International School where she worked with teachers and parents, The Maleny River School, Ananda Marga organisation working with the dadas and didis (monks and nuns) as well as at the annual Ananda Mela Festival of Bliss. She also worked with the Satyananda Yoga Ashram, at the Buddha Dharma School in Victoria, the Joining Festival, and at the Every Woman Gathering.
Milli was big person!!
I assisted her at some of her trainings and was always blown away by her courage. We often demonstrated a technique by using a real life situation that was alive between us. She went there the whole way, unflinchingly, allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of the participants. She was also a damn good teacher: clear, concise and present to her students’ needs.
More recently she also was working in the area of Relationship Mediation with couples, and parents and children. She did a mediation session with my partner, Graeme and I, some months ago and her sensitivity, clarity and present centred awareness really touched us. Afterwards she said to us “I am so grateful to work with you both. You are not a couple in distress and I am so happy to see the deep love and commitment between you, to working these things through.” What a gift from her to us!
Milli, Carsten, some others and I started a group we called the pod which met regularly over a period of 3 years. Here, in a safe environment we plumbed our depths. Milli’s tears, fears, frustrations all spilled out capaciously as well as her celebrations and accomplishments. Nothing was held back, tissues were used up as she let it all out, and then encouraged us and held us in love and safety while we did the same.
The Friday and Saturday before she died, Milli and a small group of us conducted our own Intimate Relationships workshop. As always, Milli was willing to explore, to go wherever it was, she needed to go, for clarity and understanding.
On Saturday night we had a bonfire. It was Wesak, Buddha’s enlightenment day. We each took a piece of wood which symbolized what we were letting go of and placed it into the fire. Milli joked that her stick was forked but that she was going on the straight path. We all remember how eloquently she spoke. She said that she was letting go of past hurts, of those things that were holding her back from being present in the now. Those of us who were there that night all agree that we believe Milli completed so much that night.
I love you and I miss you soo much and …. I celebrate that you could leave after letting go of everything you didn’t need, and thus so cleanly complete the cycle.
Just 2 things before I finish:
We have created a shrine for Milli at the corner of Grays Lane and the highway. Please feel free to add to it.
Also, there are now a few websites commemorating Milli. Just Google her name and you can contribute photos, stories and your ideas to further her vision for a world, in peace.
Hi Traci, Yes, we will make sure some photos will go up of today’s celebrations for Milli. I am sure all her loved ones are connected in spirit today no matter how near or far physicaly. We are all a heartbeat away. xx
please will people takes photos and/or video of milli’s gathering on monday and post them here…..i live so far away and feel the need to see the gathering to help myself say goodbye too. many thanks xo
i’m very grateful for the internet, communication. i lve on the other side of the world…. i feel included/connected with millis community of friends and support. thanks for the website x